Memories

I talked about reflecting the other night. I seemed to be really tapping into this wierd period I find myself in. The last couple of days have been really reflective. I've talked to a number of friends about the past and have had an urge to tell people what they've meant to me. It's been good - you don't really realize what people mean to you in the present, so looking back and remembering situations in which someone really helped you out, or maybe called you on something can give you a whole new perspective.

I had a great day at work today. Things are really starting to come together and I felt like I know what I'm doing and my boss told me that he thought I did very well in a meeting I was running. It's great to get feedback like that. I'll do another one tomorrow and we'll see what I can build on, but this field is definitely where I belong. It feels so natural to walk around the hospital. Anyway, more to come on that later.

So, onto the song. It's by Switchfoot if you didn't know. I can write a whole eassy on why I like Switchfoot, but I'll just sum it up and say that they are awesome. This song, On Fire, is one of my all time favorites (partly because I can play the piano part). I could also talk about this song forever too...but two parts tonight:

Cause everything inside looks like

Everything I hate

You are the hope I have for change

You are the only chance I'll take

This is the cry of my heart so often. There are time when I like who I am. But there are many times that I look inside and everything I see is where I've fallen short of my calling and fallen short of God's glory. But that last line "You are the only chance I'll take" gets me every time. When I'm feeling down, I know where to turn.

The other part that fascinates me is the bridge in the song:

I'm standing on the edge of me,
I'm standing on the edge of me,
I'm standing on the edge of me,
I'm standing on the edge

I've often wondered what that was all about. What does standing on the edge of oneself really mean. I'm still figuring it out, but I think what the song is getting at is that our lives are no walk in the park. It's not a fairy tale for us to live out. Instead, it is an adventure that we are on. One that will force us to stand on the edge of ourselves - always wondering what we will do and what will come our way next. I want to stand on the edge of me, but I'm nowhere near there yet. What do you think about it?